Underwoes

This one is for the ladies...

Just like spring cleaning your house, your underwear drawer needs a total run through from time to time.

Have you ever had one of those days when you're runing late (really late) and you have this mad rush where every movement inside your home is preplanned in your head from the moment you jump in the shower? you pick out your outfit in your head along with your jewellery, makeup, shoes, accessories and hairstyle. After coming out of the shower you run to your underwear drawer because this is the one thing you probably did not pick out, because you would choose your underwear to compliment your outfit.

Lo' and behold, you pick out a black underwear (let's say a thong) only to see that it has a few strings or elastics reeling out of the waistband and the colour is cleary looking like a black mandingo on bleaching-cream-gone-wrong. YIKES !!!

My mother always advice me when I was younger that when I'm going on the road I should have on 'proper' underwear and make sure that if I fall down out on the street or if I should unfortunately fall sick and someone has to take me to the hospital in a rush I won't be embarassed by my underwear.

We take pride in our appearance and we should ensure that our underwear drawer is not on the backburner. Occassionaly, you should spare a half hour to sort out the drawer that keeps those precious pieces of cloth that covers the best thing on earth :)

THESE GOTS TO GO ------>

• stringy/overstretchy undies that are a total embarassment
• the bingos from nineteen-o-whenever gots to go
• coloured undies that have lost their glamour
• undies that have been washed sooooo often, they are now referred to as 'comfortable panties'
• undies that make you wonder what the heck it is still doing in your drawer
• undies that make you say 'I thought I'd thrown those out'
• undies that make you say 'this is the last time I'm wearing them - serious this time'
• undies that you refer to as 'period undies'
• undies that you will not be caught dead out on a date in
• undies that you only sleep in

THESE ARE A MUST------>

stock up on these as much as you would like

• sexy thongs ... black is a must-have
• bikinis
• low riders

Try to keep your stock up to date and as new as possible; if we don't... who will?

End of the ...

Do you know that feeling you get when you approach :

the last cookie in the bag (which is probably your favourite)
last spoonful of icecream
last bite of overdelicious cake
last sip of drink
last lick off that fudge/icicle
Is it better to keep looking in the bag or on the plate of whatever you're having so you know when it is approaching the end? Do you get a better satisfying feeling when it's over? If you knew it's the last bite/sip/lick would you savour it more? Does the saying 'treat each cookie like it's your last' apply to life's 'treat everyday like it's your last'?

If we knew what tomorrow brings, wouldn't that take all the fun and joys from 'living' in its truest sense? The fact that we can't prophesize the future is a wonderful thing, it makes us more cautious of our actions and mindful of the fact that we 'reap what we sew'. We get disappointments or happiness tomorrow from our actions today.

The next time your having your favourite 'edible' item, and you approach the end, think of your day's worth... was it good enough to call it a day or do you see where you can make changes to make tomorrow better?

Am I African?

The Jamaica Aids Society (JAS) has been on a series of campaign to educate the public about keeping one parter. I've noticed that most (if not all) of their ads focuses on the male. They advise 'men' to keep one partner but I've not seen ads for the opposite sex.

Even though the statistics show that men are the weak link in a relationship when it comes onto fidelity. what the statistics 'secretly' prove is that women are greater liars. Women do cheat (I'm not saying all)... but they are not excluded from the category.

A man will brag and boast about the amount of 'flesh' he has touched just to boost his ego and put his ratings among his friends at the top of the 'gallis' ladder. A female will go to her grave with her secret (even after filling out the form that ask personal/confidential questions); if she does tell a 'friend', this is something like taboo, it should not leave the confines of the walls from which it was spoken.

It is not right for a partner to be involved with someone else while being in an agreed monogamous relationship with another person. Our society is not one where we need to take on the culture of the Africans so we can have more than one partners. When someone tries to adapt some of the principles that the Americans has set, the first thing you hear is 'him foreign minded eeeeh, everything dem see 'Merica do, dem do too'; BUT, a man will easily brag that he is African so he can have more that one gyaal... when the reality is:

he probably can't pinpoint the geographical location of Africa without using Google Earth
the closest thing on him that is African is his kinky-ass hair
his concept of Africa is malnourished people and lots of women
If our culture was that of the Africans, getting 'bun' wouldn't affect us emotionally; it would've been an accepted action among all and not just among the ones who hold onto a man/woman because they have set their standards so low that they can't even get under it themselves.

Types of Hickies

I've always been one to NOT wear hickies, but that's just me. It doesn't matter that I'm in a steady relationship and will not cheat, but my line of work does not make it appropriate to wear hickies and I don't want to feel uncomfortable... again this is my personal preference.

A week ago I saw this girl who works in a big establishment and she has on the uglies hickey EVER. She is of a very light complexion and it appears as if someone had tried to strangle her. Even though this is someone I speak to, I could not ask her about it and while conducting business I had to be looking all over the place except at her.
This week I had to go back to the same place, lo and behold, there she was again with two big-ass hickies on her neck. This time I could not hold back... I had to ask her if she gonna continue coming into the people dem business place with her 'weekend hickies'.

This leads me to wonder why would a person be so proud to wear around hickey on their neck or is it that they did not have a choice?

woman with hickey on her neck
~ the man is insecure and wants the world to know that she is getting her 'sort out' from somebody so hands off - it's just like a dog pee-ing on a spot (marking it)
or
~ he decides it's going on her neck whether she likes it or not

woman with hickey on her body
~ she was cheating and the man snuck one in so that homeboy could find it and raise hell
or
~ the man has been wanting to put one on her for some time now so she told him to put a small one on her body where no one can see it
or
~ although she is out there giving the coochie away, she wants him to think that he is the only one and lets him plant one in a discrete place while giving him some lame excuse

man with hickey on neck
+ he wants the world to think he is not gay; he has a girl and they made passionate love while she vampiriously laid one on his oh so 'not-gay' neck
+ if the hickey is on the back of his neck that is self explanatory
+ she snuck one on while he was in the middle of an orgasm and speaking in tongues about how she is the only one, etc, etc.. bullcrap

man with hickey on his body
+ wifey knows that he is cheating and line him up with hickies because she know he will have to stay away from matey because he won't be able to explain to her how comes he is single and has no one but her, but he has hickies
+ the 'love bites' are indication that he has an active sex life

Whatever the case for one putting their marks on their partners, that's fine... just know that when others view it, it sends a message; so know your hickies

yours truly,
the original divaknockoff :)