My Catholic experience

I'm shopping around for a church that will suit me - my personality, my current and future mental state, and also one that makes me feel fulfilled when I leave.

Today, I visited the Stella Maris church for the first time (7:00 a.m service) and I know for sure that this is NOT my cup of tea (or wine).

Stella is a Catholic denomination and they do everything to the books.

Sitting in the service, I kept replaying past incidents that we have 'heard about' with alter boys, children and the priest. I got so mentally disturbed in that church this morning that I'm sure there is a mark against my name in the little white book that should get me into the pearly gates.

Well, I can't really go and blame myself for that, society has made me who I am today.

So, there I was, scrutinizing the pastor/priest (whatever they call themself) and wondering if he has ever molested any of the youngsters in training I see up there on the altar.

Then the best part came - COMMUNION.

They had the bread - some thin, flat, circle things - in a bowl and an elderly/senior standing at strategic points in the aisle of the church. Everyone move in sync up to them like some programmed lab rats and open their mouths to receive this 'body of Christ'. They then move to another point where someone is standing with an over sized silver wine glass so they can receive the 'blood of Christ'. I was totally mesmerized by all this and at one point had to shut my mouth and look if anyone was staring at me... So, not only is this person putting their hands (which presumably is clean, knowing the fact that he has been in the church for over an hour handing out programmes and shaking hands) in people's mouth, but you then have to drink from a glass that everyone else is drinking from.

Yes, they wipe the glass, but is that enough?

I'm not criticising their religion, I'm just saying that if I have these doubts here, now, this is a major blockage when it comes time to receive the message. Instead, I'm focusing on other stuff that really irks me.

So, next Sunday, the hunt is on again :)

I am,

The original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

She said "no, no, no..."

The regular purple messages started flowing in today saying how Amy Winehouse is dead. At first, I ignored it, then later on my curiosity got the best of me since I had received this broadcast from, hopefully, a reputable contact on my bbm.
So I googled it, and lo and behold, there was the story... Amy Winehouse found dead in her London home. SMH.
I looked at a recent video of her (one that was shot one month ago by someone's electronic device) and I just could not believe that someone, a human being, could really waste away herself like that. Yes, there are pressures from every angle, yes, you are in the limelight all the time, yes, it is hard to be you because of certain criterias that you have to meet... but that does not excuse you for doing this to yourself.
see for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m8o2wuxYbY&feature=player_embedded

The age of Technology

I remember getting my first Nokia from Digicel and I thought that was the best thing since sliced bread. I loved that phone so much, I eventually gave into the fad and changed the pole to one that could light up - that one I regretted because the phone started to drop signal. That phone was also a weapon, you know how many times I was mad and held it threateningly up into someone's face? Ahhh, the good old Nokia. I did get another Nokia after that...that was the toughest phone ever... it could take all sorts of fall to the ground, all you had to do is piece it up back and you're good again.

The good old Motorola Sliver came to take over the place at one point and I just HAD to get that phone or I'd die... Then I had the Motorola Pebble phase... then there were a few more that I'm losing track of right now... THEN CAME THE IPHONES AND BLACKBERRIES... I just can't picture my life without them. I just don't know how I'd survive... they are like a lifeline to each day... as I get up I'm reaching for it to check mails, see who has pinged me with their stupid purple message or some corny joke. For whatever reason, I knew I had found the two most perfect phones. *sigh*

But wait, I'm also a camera fan !!! I started out with an HP Photosmart, graduated to the best brand camera on the planet "Canon". I had my Ipod, Itouch and about to get my first Ipad. I also want the new Canon professional camera... oh boy...

There's also the laptop transition... from the best Dell in the world to the best Hp Pavilion in the world, then back to a Dell but this time an XPS, then back to a regular Dell, now I'm back to an XPS... I just can't seem to stop. Is it a disease?

Based on the rate that technology is improving, if we are to try and keep up, we will probably go broke...

I think that once you've found a product that you like, use it to the best of it's ability, when the time comes to change, do so gradually. Don't jump from a peanut phone to a blackberry overnight... you will go into a minor stroke trying to keep up with the pings and forwards.

Technology needs to be introduced gradually (especially to the older generation).

Do these inventors come up with new ways to get our money? or are they really trying to make life easier for us all? are they set on a journey to have the world at our fingertips or is it a trick so they can eventually implant chips into our wrist as I've been told since i was about 6?

I'm still the techy chic

The original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

Love the Skin you're in

How many times have you been encouraged to love yourself first before you can love someone else? You've also been told that it's what's inside that counts, the outward appearance is only a vessel. The motivation speech can go on and on for miles - most of the times it is coming from someone who is drop dead gorgeous, probably has the 'perfect life' in your eyes and on top of it has perfect skin and has a 26 inches waist with a 42 inches ass with the perfect job and relationship. Imagine you, struggling with some low self confidence and have this person trying to motivate you.

Oh wow :/

At the same time, here we have studies saying that women with muffin tops and men with big bellies are prone to dying earlier and need to get their BMI down due to the risk of heart disease.

Society has engraved in our heads that we are to look a certain way, behave in a particular manner and be successful all at once. So, if we're to love who we are, does being fat and out of shape being someone else?

Jennifer Hudson was a very plump girl with a powerful voice that brought her to fame - not by placing first in American Idol, but by being herself. That voice, along with her personality, got her her first Grammy award for her self titled R&B album in 2009. She also won an award for best supporting role in the hit 'Dream girls'. Jennifer is on a role... but wait, she's almost unrecognizable from before... she's slowly disappearing off the radar.

Her story is that she is doing this for her and her health and she would like to live long enough to see her family grow.

Her husband is not too keen on this look, but does he have a say in it for her to stay fat because he prefers it? Would she still be getting all this attention if she had stayed at that weight? She is the face for 'Weight Watchers', where she's been able to lose all this weight and suddenly look this fab and glamorous.

If she's loving the skin she's in, would society have gotten through to her to lose weight at a tender age of twenty-something? Wouldn't she still appreciate herself no matter what society continues to dish out and feed her?

We see the pressure surround us daily - look at Susan Doyle from 'Britain's got Talent'; she came on as the perfect sensay fowl and now is slowly transforming from an ugly, unsightly duckling to a swan.

Is the statment 'love yourself no matter what' overrated?

When you hear that motivational speech and then get the opposite from magazines and people who think they know what's best for you, no wonder these people turn out psychologically imbalanced.

I stand true

the original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

The Invisible Power of Responsibility

New York Congressman, Anthony Weiner, a Jewish born in Brooklyn, has sent lewd photos of his crotch to persons he's met online, lied about it, admitted to lying about it, told his wife about his 'past' online hanky-panky, lied to her about the twitter photos then admitted to lying to her.

whew !!!`

What a work.

THEN, after all that, came on national TV to let the whole world, that is willing to listen, know that his wife is a remarkable woman, she did not deserve any of this and he's apologizing.

He's incredible !!!

A lot of persons in high positions set out on a self destructive path where they want to be treated like a 'normal' person. Unfortunately, this is not so... you were given this position to make a difference. We already have the regular hooligans and white-collar-wanna-be's who keeps us entertained, your job is to do what is best for the country, for the music and for whatever industry you're in.

Spider man's aunt once said "with great power, comes great responsibility". In other words, when you are in the limelight, you owe a just due to society where your actions are no longer yours to do as you please. You will be held accountable for every good, bad or indifferent behaviour that you throw upon them. Don't think for one minute that you can continue to be this carefree person that can let your personality, whether dark or other, shines out and sidetrack you from the job at hand to be done... which is to be a mentor, leader, supporter or whatever statue of significance to some one's life.

I'm still

The original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

Liars, Liars, Liars

There are different types of liars, I'm told.

1. Sociopath - someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others - this person is goal oriented




2. Compulsive - someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions




3. Occasional, Frequent and Smooth - These don't need a definition as they are self explanatory

The terms Pathological Liar, Habitual Liar and Chronic Liar are often used to refer to a Compulsive Liar.

In my opinion, a lie is a lie... it doesn't matter the context of how it was delivered. If you lie to protect someone, you will find all forms of justifiable reasons to defend your stance. If you lie to make yourself look better in someone else's eyes, you will feel that momentary tweak of guilt that is called a conscience. If you lie to not let someone get on your case about an issue, you will have to remember that lie to back up future stories. Why go through all that trouble and put yourself in a worst off position than if you hadn't lied?

When someone lies to you, you feel betrayed, you think the worst of that person, you don't know how to trust that person anymore and your instinct is to not let that person get any closer to you so that future lies will not affect you when they decide to continue down that path.

Being on the receiving end of that stick is not a good place to be... so why do we tend to put persons at that end?

When a friend has lied to us, we puzzle over it for days at end (depends on the level of friendship). Can we, as human beings, tell the truth in all occasions? We always say 'better you tell me the truth than you tell me a lie and i find out'... but how truthful is that statement? There are times when we just cannot handle the truth... or is it that the truth hurts no matter what?

The thin line between truth and lies is a fragile one. Once you've entered into the lying game, it is hard to come back... be careful how you trod... Don't make excuses for your lies, don't come up with an intellectual reason as to why you had to lie... think about the situation, approach it in the best way possible then give your answer. But know at the end of the day, a lie, no matter the context, is a lie.

I am yours truly

The one and only original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

Customer Service

One of my major annoyances is 'Poor Customer Service". It can't be classified as a pet peeve because it is bigger than that. A pet peeve is a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to him or her, to a greater degree than others may find it.

I think we, as Jamaicans, have accepted poor customer service from every walks of life because we do not know better, or we do not know our rights. Companies have separate departments for customer service for a reason; they have realized that service is what keeps customers and not just products. We will find that the monopoly companies are not so high on the list of offering good support to their customers and they have the power to offer crap and know that most of us can't do anything about it. Perfect examples are JPS and NWC. Their tag line should be - We have the handle and you have the blade.

But What about a company that is in a saturated market and there are lots of competition that will attract the same customers that you are targeting?

Poor service in this case, pisses me off greatly.

My list of places that offers poor customer service:

1. Cool Petroleum - Toll Gate - Clarendon

2. LP Azar - Cross Roads

3. Digicel - Tropical Plaza

and most recent

4. The Deck - New Kingston

I will admit that in these organizations, there are persons who do try to uplift the company by giving good customer service, but in all fairness, one person cannot bring a company to success when others are bringing it down.

Friday night, I went with some friends to The Deck to shoot some pool, have some drinks and just have a good laid back night.

Upon arrival, my first thought was that there are no waitresses on the floor... I played it off thinking that it is a Friday night and it was pretty late and there were a lot of people there. We found a spot to hang out and had our own little party going on; then a brilliant genie appeared on my right ear advising me to go and order some food. Since I did not see anyone working the floor, me and my friend went to the bar to order. After standing for over five minutes without being acknowledged, I stopped making excuses that they were busy. My friend was signalling one of the waitresses who totally ignored her, then I stepped up and attempted to signal her also. She looked at me, I started talking, and she walked off. My speed of anger from 0 - 100 was unbelievable fast, so I ignored her and waited while my friend tried in vain to get the attention of another waitress. Finally, one, who appeared to be a supervisor, came over and offered us a menu and took our order... she even took us over to the other bar where she assigned a waitress to us and made sure we were taken care of.

If it wasn't for that one supervisor, I would not go back to that venue. They are rude, distasteful and have no manners. Whomever is offering them training need to visually monitor how they work under strained circumstances... It's either they are more focused on customers whom they think will give them a good tip or it's a stereotype field where they pick out who they want to served... whatever the case, they will lose more than they will gain with people like those working in their company.

If you go to a venue/company where you are are not getting good customer service, express yourself... I'm not saying to get all bhuttu and ghetto and all, because sometimes that is all they leave you to do to get some form of good service from them. If you are not satisfied with the treatment, leave or find someone superior to talk to... half the times, the front liners are not worth crap and go to the people good, good workplace and try to be somebody when in the end they are offering shit for customer service.

You did not walk on the street and pick up your money (I'm not referring to the ladies/men of the night here), so therefore, your hard earned cash - no matter how you earned it - should be well spent on a company that deserves it. Don't let one or two persons from an organization let you think bad of the company... unless it's a repeated offense that is well known throughout the organization.

So, for now, I'm going to give those places a break... they might not miss me and my friends money, but another company will sure benefit from it.

I am yours truly,

the original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED

The antics of one of our self-proclaimed dance hall hero seem to be coming to a major halt. The one and only Vybz Kartel has issued a statement to let the international market know that he has been playing antics all these years since he has been in the limelight.

The bleaching, the braces, the tattoos, the girls and the newly acquired braids were all a trick people !!! Behold, the real Kartel is about to be unveiled and all these ridiculous circus behaviour will cease immediately.

Now, for me, this is very traumatising. I don't know how I'm going to explain to my bleach out friend that she bleached in vain. She is a die hard Kartel fan and has the bleaching down pat, the tattoos are coming along and the false hair was always there in the beginning. But now that he is on the verge of becoming a new 'him', what will his story be to these zombie-lookalikes that trod on the street in their tights and long sleeved turtle neck sweaters in the sun and blossom at night like night dew? All me know, Kartel better be prepared for the wrath of these people... He better come with some big words that makes him look like the over intelligent hustler who is market savvy and try to calm their nerves.

Few things I know for sure:

1. Turtle neck sweaters got a boost in sales over the past few years

2. Bleaching cream has been the number one selling chemical among us Jamaicans

3. The race to fill out the skin with tattoos has diminished the supply of blood to the blood bank

4. Kartel has proven that there are more ignorant people in this country than they care to admit

His antics sure has put him on the center stage with the spotlight right in his face... not a pretty sight, but that was part of the act. Now that the curtain is closing, I wonder what next... hmmm

Ladies Night

Ladies Night ----> this night is for the ladies; music, entertainment and attention will be directed to the ladies... after all, we do carry a heavy burden in this world - 'men'. Therefore, dedicating a night to the females is definitely a gallant move, and there are a lot of women to please.

I've never been to a ladies night; I've had girls night with my girlfriends and slaughtering men left right and center is the topic of the night, but going to an event that is dedicated to us wasn't ventured upon --- until recently...

EVERY week I have to bear the monotones of the Cakesoap Jackson reminding us that Tuesday nights is Ladies Night in the building, so I decided to go and see what all this hype is about - with the exception of indulging in the Street Vybz Rum. Now, everyone that knows me, or think they know me, knows that I'm a diehard Kartel fan/hater/junkie, so going to one of his events shouldn't be a surprise ... I go so I can criticise, comment and acknowledge his influence over the people. But differently still, this Ladies Night make me not wanna go back there.

1. YES, ladies are free


2. They do play music for the girls to bruk out and wine (probably 10 or so song in that arena)


3. There were more women to men... you could see them being outnumbered, but I would think they didn't mind.


4. THEY PLAYED MOSTLY MEN SONGS

At number 4, I have the most problem. Initially when the selections started, I was engrossed in the songs just bobbing my head full of weave around, and enjoying. But realizing that it is now 3:00 a.m. and all the men were on the dance floor in the video light with lighters and rum, I recognized that there was a huge misunderstanding of the concept for Tuesday nights in The Building.

How could a sane selector see so many women, know that it is Ladies Night, would love to see the ladies gyrating and end up playing pure man chune?

My recommendations - rename the night to Men's Night and stop luring hot girls who spend their hard/easy earned money to come and endure back pains for a week after standing in 6 inch heels for 5 hours listening to gun chune.

I am, Yours Truely

the original DivaKnockoff

T G I F

After rushing the week to run quicker than it should, I'm now stuck on a Friday evening with tons of nothing to do.

What is it about Fridays that forces you to want it to come so badly? Is it just the fact that you won't be at work to see your miserable, bipolar, boss's face? Or do we just hate the idea of getting up each morning to go to a work that stresses us out? When the weekend comes around, we are hypnotized with the beauty of two whole days of nothing to do. Unfortunately, that's just for a selected few.

For me, I have to do school work or some sort of house work. When I do let down my hair (which is not much) and go somewhere to enjoy myself, I'm consumed for the next 2 - 3 weeks with a form of tiredness that is second to none.

So what will be my solution for my weekends?

For now, there is none... school work has to come first (for a few more months at least) then I'm gonna let loose like a cannon with fire on her ass :)

I'm yours truely

the original Divaknockoff

Rain and Rainbows

I just flipped my daily motivator calendar and saw today's quote:

The beautiful colours of the rainbow can only be seen through the prism of rain.

Have you ever noticed that a rainbow does show itself after raining or it might appear somewhere in the distance and you say to yourself "but rain is not falling"... technically, there are some water particles off in the distance that we are not seeing, but we do see the rainbow.

How is a rainbow formed?

watch this on YouTube, and you will get a better understanding

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1UHAPQGkKk&feature=player_embedded

In conclusion, there must be some form of water molecules for a rainbow to appear.

There are persons who have associated this saying with real life. They have linked rain with a person going through hardship and the rainbow as something to look forward to after the rough times. But is this a fair analogy?

We need rain for crops to grow and bear, for livestock to feed from, for human beings to live comfortably, in all fairness, we can't do without the rain. Yes, the same rain can cause major destruction, but what would life be without water?

Why is something that does so much more good than bad is linked directly to one's pain and hardship?

In real life, I probably had a car accident, lost my daughter, went into depression for months or years, later on got pregnant again and have another child. If someone says to me that this child is the rainbow that happened after the rain, is this a fair comparison... I didn't need that accident, I didn't need all that pain, so why associate it with something I need?

I am your original

DivaKnockoff

xoxo

Third Person

Have you ever tried to have an intelligent conversation with an individual, only to realize that the person is either in denial that they belong in an asylum or they really believe they are normal. When speaking with someone and they start to refer to themself as the third person - BEWARE.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXmAqEi6g2M&feature=player_embedded
In a recent interview with the controversial DJ Vybz Kartel and Hot 97, I couldn't help but notice that he kept on referring to himself as the third person... when asked why he does certain things, he would respond, "who is Vybz Kartel? He is the the one who puts on braces without needing them"
A narrator is one who normally removes themself from a character and becomes the third person so he can narrate the story to his audience. A character is a fictional invention, it does not exist in real life. This leads me to wonder if the hypnotized fans have ever stopped to ponder the fact that they are bleaching to look like something that is not real.
Suppose tomorrow I decide to wear a blue tights and a red underwear on the outside of that along with a big red cape, would that be acceptable since I'm trying to be just like Superman?

Will it take a genius to one day open the eyes of these night crawlers, who walk around in stockings, tights, long sleeve shirts and hats in the days to hide from the sun because they want their skin to be light, so they can see that they are trying to transform themself to match something that is not real?

The irony of it is that they laugh at Michael Jackson (God rest his soul) when he wanted to be Peter Pan

I am, yours truly

the original DivaKnockoff

xoxo

ps: Stay coloured

No opinion

Almost every second to third word out of a typical Jamaican's mouth now is "cool like me wash me face with the cake soap"..."OHH"... "a whoa"... we have been kartelized over the past few months, to an extreme where it has become annoying.

The last guy I heard with the cake soap argument, I asked him if cake soap was a normal soap to wash underwear? He said yes. Which led me to the other side of the fence (the gully side) where Mavado bleats out lyrics of it being against the law for men to wash panties... which not only imply that men should not wash female underwear, but you would be an outcast. So, what I'm really trying to put together is... if a bad man lives with his girl and she washes her undies with cake soap, should he get his own or do they use the same one? Also, if he has his own, how will he know if she has or hasn't used it?

We have become little guinea pigs in the demented mind of a lyricsis who uses his body and slick tongue as tools of PR. When he dropped the 'Clark's' song, every bruk-pocket handcart man went downtown to try get a Clark's. http://likkleblackgyal.blogspot.com/2010/05/clarks-phenomenon.html Clark's, arguably, became the number one selling shoes during that era.

Straight Jeans and Fitted hats couldn't stay in stores when he landed that one on us also... Rosaries became an overnight sensation (and I'm not talking about among the nuns). People were walking like they were in a trance trying to find these 'well sought after' trends in fashion... all because of Kartel. We can look at the positive side where he has made an impact on the economy by providing jobs for persons (those in the buy and sell industry - higglery) and our cash flow in the Jamaican market to free up, but can it also be said that we do not have an opinion of our own? No man could be found in a long foot jeans... cut off foot a dweet... and if you nuh inna dat something wrang wid u. A man going to a funeral had on a black cut off foot jeans, black Clark's, white tee shirt, fitted black cap and he made damn sure never to leave his rosary.

It seems like these people just sit and wait on Kartel to tell them what to wear, what to eat, how to bleach and how to behave. The era of own opinion has ended effective 2010.